I’m guessing that you have heard the phrase “You create Your own reality”.  What exactly does that mean?  People have a very hard time with that understanding when it comes to the negative circumstances in our lives. “So I created that car accident last month?”  “So I created my cancer?” “Why would I do that?”  And so I completely get it why this is not readily accepted as a foundational truth.  And if I create my reality as an individual, do we also create reality as a collective? I absolutely believe that we do, and that if there was no interference, we would naturally create a beautiful and harmonious existence for all.    It can be much easier to believe that you are a victim of unfortunate (as well as fortunate) circumstances that are often if not always random.  In fact, some carry this idea to the extreme and live in a ‘victim mentality’ for their entire life. We know who those people are.  They are the blame experts that usually can’t wait to tell you their story of how life has treated them so unfairly.     

We have all felt like victims at certain times in our life.  In fact I believe that all of us have been victimized simply by the nature of this reality especially in the early years of our childhood when we were much more innocent and naive.  That is why it is so important for the adult in us to hold our 'inner child' in a place of unconditional love and extreme compassion.  There is a stark difference in those that choose to learn, grow, and evolve as a result of their trials and tribulations. It takes tremendous courage to face ourselves with a deep and honest inquiry, and why I re-iterate that this is not an easy journey.  In fact, this reality is 'designed' to keep us so distracted and manipulated that we rarely devote the time and energy necessary to this process.  Hence, we really have no reference for a sense of true freedom.  Imagine being immersed in a video game, without the awareness or option that you can 'exit the game'. Perhaps the Truman Show is not far off..

I think a more accurate description than "You create Your reality'  is that we create the experience of our reality. Think about the fact that two individuals having the exact same physical circumstance can have a radically different experience of that circumstance.  As adults we have a choice how to react or respond to what happens to us.  Those of us that choose to step up and take accountability for our lives are realizing that we are, in fact, amazing and powerful creator beings!  It’s true!  So why then is that not more obvious and there continues to be so much suffering?  Because if we do not believe or have that awareness, then we are individually and collectively creating from a place of feeling very small, insignificant, and powerless.  And unfortunately, there has been a great deal of manipulation in this reality to make us feel that way. Just think about a religion that teaches you that you are born into ‘original sin’,  and you get my drift..

We are Eagles that are being raised by chickens.. We pop out of mom’s womb completely blind and helpless, depending on authority figures (Drs, parents, teachers) to guide us and even tell us who we are!  It is no wonder that our own innate wisdom becomes buried and virtually dormant along the way.  Do you know how many natural abilities you had as a child that you were ‘talked out of’?  I remember as a young child being able to close my eyes and imagine a certain object in another color.  I would open my eyes and it would be the new color.  That is how consciousness is supposed to work!  I also was an avid day-dreamer and was often reprimanded for that in school.  So ask yourself - are all the imaginary friends children have truly imaginary?  I had a wizard as a companion for a long time and he felt very REAL to me.  And why is the imagination downplayed in favor of learning math, science, history, etc.?  I would even ask the question ‘how do the teachers KNOW that what they are teaching is accurate’?  Aren’t they born just as blind and helpless as we are?  Why is it that we all so blindly trust the authority in our lives?  Well, many of us do NOT anymore…  

Do you remember playing on a merry-go-round as a young child?  Somebody would help to start us spinning and we didn’t want it to stop.  Time simply fell away.  Why is that?  Because that type of spinning takes us out of the mental drive and chatter and allows us to enter a space of true relaxation and enjoyment.  It is about traveling out of the mind and into the heart.  This is the space we all need to find again and learn to cultivate.  It is what allows our imagination and creativity to flourish.  The question we should be asking ourselves regularly is ‘What do I love to do?”  This sounds like a simple enough question, but it isn’t! 

When I first tried to do this, I had a tough time!  I could easily think of things or circumstances that brought me pleasure (an outdoor concert for example) but it was much more difficult for me to think of creative endeavors or activities in which I lost time and felt true inner joy.  Why is that? Because what we enJOY does not take first place in this reality. What does take 1st place is what brings us success.  When I was in Jr. High I was determined to be good at some kind of athletic sport.  Afterall, that is what was highly encouraged and also earned a lot of positive attention.  So I picked up a tennis racquet and started hitting balls against a backboard that was part of our PE. area, both on my lunch break and after school.  I quickly got the hang of it and it was fun!  An hour would easily go bye before I realized I needed to get home.  

I told my parents and friends what I was doing and they encouraged me to join the tennis team. So in High School the next year I tried out for the team.  Already the ‘trying out’ process was starting to take the fun away.  This meant that I had to compete with others and WIN in order to secure a place on the ladder.  To make a long story short; what started out as a fun and creative endeavor turned out to be a nightmare of tension and stress for me for several years.  I simply did not enjoy competing.  To this day I much prefer to ‘rally’ with others and do various fun drills, rather than competing.  I know many will disagree but I do not think it is our true nature to be competitive.  I think we are conditioned to be that way, and it is yet another programming method to ensure the split.  What we often fail to think about is that when we feel the joy of winning someone else feels the pain of losing. So If we have any empathy for the opponent(s), winning isn’t so joyful after all. Perhaps competition is normalized early on (video games?) so that we are more accepting and de-sensitized to the most extreme forms, such as street gangs and World War.  And yet as insane as it sounds, we learn to somehow justify acts that result in horrific death and suffering, and then attribute them to ‘human nature’ ( the ‘savage’ side that is) and even celebrate our ‘victory’ in the name of freedom!  Wow.. 

'Friendly competition', however, is something completely different and that which I readily endorse. When 2 or more engage in a playful and mutual respect for each other's skill while 'competing', the outcome is much different.  In fact it is fun!  You are not winning at the detriment or expense of the other.  It seems that joyful bantering has become a lost art.  Think about comedy these days, especially how it plays out on late night television.  Isn't it all based on snarky jabs at the expense of another?  Is that really funny?  What happened to being able to laugh with each other vs at each other.  Very different and not nearly as enjoyable...

Let’s get back to JOY.  Besides identifying what you truly love to do, also ask yourself the question ‘what is blocking me from experiencing authentic joy?’  Most of us can identify with our own personal saboteur.  For example, we may find ourselves in situations that should be enjoyable and yet we do not feel any joy, and often just the opposite. It’s as if a little voice is in there telling you that ‘you can’t have what you really want’ or ‘you don’t deserve to be happy’.  And for no apparent reason you begin to focus on everything that is wrong.  You pick apart the situation or people you are with so now you have ensured that you can no longer enjoy yourself.  The saboteur is very good at what he/she does.  He is there because of a trauma(s) from your childhood that taught you to take on this perception. You are 4 years old and mom just bought you an ice cream cone, but because you complained that you prefer chocolate to vanilla, she took it away from you and put it in the garbage.  This was, of course, a ‘lesson’ in her mind to teach you not to be ungrateful.  But what it taught you is that ‘you can’t have what you really want’, and now that belief has carried on into your adulthood. Very small traumas can have a very large effect on the beliefs (perceptions) that shape our reality as we grow older.

If you are not sure what you enjoy then 'fake it till you make it!"  It's simple:  the heart wants to play and have fun!  Start doing fun things until you feel the fun.  When your mind tries to take you out of that state remind it that it is SAFE to allow the heart to play.  This is how the mind will learn to trust the heart and vice-versa. "If I did not have to work and the world was my playground, what would I be doing right now?"